- How fast, Paulo? - 4'32.
So great, you can break the record before you go.
l set this new record...
Frame that, you won't need it again.
A speech, Joe!
Where's Daniel?
You all know Daniel handed in his resignation last night.
He's giving up 2-wheelers for 4-wheelers.
He's not like a normal guy who starts on all four,
and ends up on his own two feet.
He was the best among us.
And, above all, a perfect colleague!
We'll miss you!
Did you kiss me, Lily?
Or did your lips slip?
l'd just like to know where l stand.
ls that better?
lf you slipped again, you're really clumsy.
To celebrate Daniel's departure, let's have a parade!
Watch this, Lily, you won't see it again.
- How many are there? - A lot.
The greatest...
Move it, man!
Wow!
Bingo!
Having a party?
- Pizza guys? - Pizza Fuzz.
We're out of boxes but we'd like to see your licence.
l must have left it inside but l can get it.
Make it snappy.
Coming right up...
Move it!
They've had 5 minutes...
Watch out for the oil...
Oil?
Yeah, it's my pad... but it's a garage too.
lt's not much, you know.
lt's different...
l've known you two years.
Why didn't you ever bring me here?
l need time to reach a decision.
What made your mind up?
The neckline.
Pretty, isn't it?
lt's brand new.
We'll try not to spoil it.
Could this ruin our friendship?
We've laid the foundations, now let's build.
- We could wait... - No way.
You'd think l don't want this.
l don't want to be rude.
- Oh no! - What?
- Six o'clock. - So? lt's Saturday.
- lt's for a job. - What?
You didn't find a new job overnight!
No, it's about my next job.
l've waited months for this.
l thought you'd waited months for me...
Make that months, plus one hour.
An hour at the most.
Hey, greenhorn, you need a ticket.
Remember the photos next time.
77.
247...l'm in for a long wait.
- Been in the trade long? - 25 years yesterday.
l just retired. This is the first time in 25 years
that l can read the paper.
Oh, right...
247.
Here l am!
Your ticket, two photos.
Sign here...and here.
Driver's professional card, transport certificate,
meter acquisition papers, log-book,
plate and the roof unit.
That's it?
- After 6 years? - Want a marching band?
No, but a smile would help.
248!
Midday. l've gone for croissants
and married the baker in despair.
Good-bye. See you later.
Congratulations, Mr. Daniel!
lt's nothing...
No, really...
- Daniel! - Paulo!
You're looking for customer?
The party is great.
Ace. Something's worrying me...
What's up?
That thing sounds weird. Does it work?
lt's tanked up with vitriol!
l just pissed off two cops downtown. Left them standing!
Listen to this. Two motorcycle cops on the boulevard.
Before they could get into first...
l'd hit the beach!
They were green!
They'll need a week to get over it.
l went racing through the tunnel, burning rubber.
l heard one call for his mom!
They won't forget old Paulo.
You're right, Paulo, They haven't!
Hey, girls! Still got your moustaches?
How about the beach, girls? Free ride today.
My treat, let's go...
Are you a ''taxi'' taxi or a nice taxi?
This driver's the friendly type
who opens doors,
drives steadily, speaks when he's spoken to,
and helps if you ask nicely.
Perfect!
Where to then?
See that house?
The pink one? With the carriage entrance?
- Yeah, l see it... - The pink one...
That's where.
Do you have a favourite route?
Put it in the kitchen, l'll tidy up later.
lt'll feed you a week.
No, my son's coming to lunch tomorrow.
All this for one meal?
No, l do his meals for the week and he takes them home with him.
He doesn't have a kitchen there.
He can't even boil an egg.
That's him on the photo, next to the rake.
He's only happy stuck at his computer.
He works for lBM.
To each his own...
True. What about you?
l drive. But you had no time to notice.
My son's taking his driving test for the eighth time today!
Eight's my lucky number, he'll be OK.
At the end of the street, we'll turn...
We'll turn left!
Left, Mr. Kermadec!
Fucking turn!
Are you stupid?
l don't fucking believe it!
l've never met a moron like you!
You can't tell right from left?
You said it too late.
l'll fax you next time!
Left is fucking left!
Turning a wheel is simple enough!
To each his own...
What does a cretin like you do? Circus clown? Zoo-keeper?
Dole officer?
All three.
You should've said...
l'll fax you next time?
Excuse me...
What'll it be, Chief lnspector?
Lovely...
You deserve it. You've been so kind. l'll keep your card.
Do you mind if l eat in the car? l ought to get to work.
Not at all. Off you go!
Can you save my life?
ln theory, no.
lt depends. What are the symptoms?
l have a flight in 25 minutes. lf l miss it, l'm dead.
lf l catch it, you'll be rich.
Your luck's in.
l'm not a doctor,
but l like emergencies. Please fasten your belt.
Let's get going...
We're off.
A white cab! Speeding!
- lt knocked down the radar. - OK, got the number?
Too fast!
Keep your eyes open on the job, pal.
Will we make it?
lf l'm going to miss the plane, we can take our time.
Don't worry, we'll speed up once we hit the freeway.
Don't take any risks for me.
l'd hate you to lose your licence.
That's OK, l don't have one.
Brilliant...
14 and a half minutes.
Time to buy a paper and have coffee. Have a safe trip.
Thanks
l don't get it.
l win at this every time. Eight records at Monaco...
But on the street, l come a cropper.
Well, can we drink it?
Not right away.
l don't believe it!
l know champagne ages well but this stuff's getting mouldy.
What was it this time?
A butcher's for once, not a news-stand.
Know what?
Get a mouse fitted in your car instead of the wheel.
Handicapped people do that...
Come on...
l've got a new record for you.
A cab, by the port...Guess how fast.
85?
At first, then he changed gears. 135 mph, pal!
You caught him?
Sure, we called the airforce in.
Heard this one? lt's a blast.
What's the difference between a comb and a boiled egg?
You're busy...l'll call back later.
Right! Much later. After dark,
we won't mind!
And knock first next time!
Petra...
You're always welcome.
Thanks, Emilien. How did the test go?
l hear you butchered it...
News travels fast.
l have news for you.
There's a meeting and you're the only one missing.
No one said.
You just need to press that button there.
The one marked ''power''.
ln my office, at the double! Are you deaf?
Not anymore.
After raiding banks in Holland, ltaly and Belgium,
the Mercedes Gang is in France.
We won't let the Germans invade our country again.
My granddad died in the trenches,
Stuff the Franco-German special relationship. OK?
Not you, Petra.
You're German but you're a cop so it's OK.
These guys name the city before attacking.
lt's too much!
They'll do Marseilles within three days!
Full alert!
On call around the clock!
We have army back-up with one driver per team.
Once the Germans leave the bank, we tail them.
We'll stick to them, acting like deadly venom.
This is Operation...
Cobra.
Petra, pick the teams, please.
3 per car. An army guy, one of us and a sniper.
Each team has a code name and a posting on the plan.
Team make-up is just next to it.
Be in position in 50 minutes!
Excuse me...About that dinner l mentioned...
This week would suit me because...
That computer program l developed...
lf we wait, we may lose the idea, you see?
Not really. What is it that can't wait?
Me.
No, the program, the computer...
lt's not easy here. That's why l thought...
about dinner...
Once the Germans are in jail, l promise.
l'll see to you...to your program!
lt's a deal! By the way, whose team are you on?
Cobra's.
You're lucky, l've put you on the best team.
We're out of coffee...
Seen the wheel? Fancy, huh?
lt's my own l bought it from Alain Prost.
There's special rally gears inside.
You can drive through sand dunes no problem.
Too bad we're not at the beach.
No cigars, they make my eyes water.
No coffee, no cigars...
No chicks!
Boa to Grass Snake.
Grass Snake here.
How's your team?
Great. Real pals already.
- And you? - We're getting peed on.
Hey, Rachid!
We're gonna do that black Peugeot.
Cut the crap, Marco, not in broad daylight!
The hell we can!
The place in crawling with fuzz!
Come back to the hood and lift a car we know.
lt's OK, there's a summit, the cops are at the airport.
No fuzz in 40 miles.
Fuck them, l say.
Are you nuts?
Fucking chill out! They're at the airport.
l saw it on TV Clinton, his missus, the commies...
Hey, fuzz!
Marco fucks you! Front, back and sideways!
Let's book him!
No, let him take the crate, we need the space.
l need to take a leak.
We can't leave the car. Those are orders.
See? At the airport, like l said.
Smile, you're on candid camera.
lf the Mercedes isn't here in one minute,
l'm having a cigar, coffee and a leak.
You'll have to wait, pal.
Calling all snakes. No venom till the mouse is out.
l repeat, no venom until it's out.
Sir...
Not now, l'm into this...
But it's the Minister.
Aren't you at the airport, sir?
We just finished. About that Mercedes gang of yours...
You've called at the right time. We're about to arrest them.
Good but l was just speaking to my German counterpart.
Don't worry.
l'll be shipping the Krauts home tomorrow by special convoy!
Don't let this turn into a Franco-German brawl.
The war's over.
l couldn't agree more, sir, really l couldn't.
They'll be treated like any other crooks.
ln that case, don't call them Krauts.
l said that?
Did l say ''Krauts''?
A slip of the tongue, sir...
Can l count on you?
Yes. We handled the Gooks, remember.
The Asians, l mean. That all went smoothly.
Hardly any dead, not on our side in any case.
Hello! Hello!
He hung up!
Easy as pie.
- Fuck, too many wires! - Move it, Marco!
Need the key to that crate, asshole?
We're Grass Snake, right? Grass makes you cool...
So we play it cool, no venom, huh?
Calling all snakes. Get the maggots alive.
For an hour at least.
l'd better leave this to you guys.
l've really got to go...
Move.
What's going on?
A shoot-out, sir.
Don't move, sir.
Fuck...
We're being ambushed! Send reinforcements!
l've identified the car.
l've identified the accomplice's car.
Four expert men inside.
They're on their way.
Oh, fuck...
They're cops, sir.
They're giving up?
Grass Snake, over...
We had a slight problem with the door.
We'll have you out of here shortly.
No sweat, mister...
Thank you.
They give up.
Funny...
He kind of looks...
a bit like the Minister.
You haven't eaten...
lt's good but l'm just not hungry.
Mom, that's enough!
Don't worry about your test.
Eight times is nothing. Your father never passed.
what? l remember him driving.
He took the text 20 times and in the end they gave him a licence.
Thanks for the encouragement.
You're welcome.
Could you mend this for the janitor's son?
l'm not Super Mario!
No, you're Super Cop!
Upholding the law and protecting honest citizens!
You do wonderful work, sweetheart!
l'm proud of you.
So why say l work at lBM?
So all the neighbours bring their parking tickets round?
So you work for lBM and we get some peace.
And l repair the kid's toys!
Never happy...
l'm just kidding...
Can you call me a cab?
l've found a great one. Kind, friendly, a real angel.
You'll like him.
- Wrong floor? - Who are you looking for?
Camille.
That's me...This is the place.
You're her son works for Apple?
lBM.
That's all Greek to me. She showed me your photo...
This is my boy, Emilien.
l've labelled them. Monday, veal stew. Tuesday...
l'll manage!
Let's go, l hate to leave my car alone.
Kiss, mom.
- Where to? - Boulevard Voltaire.
l know Police HQ but not lBM.
l'm going to Police HQ.
l'm computerizing them.
l'll drop you a bit before, l keep away from the fuzz.
lt makes a fancy noise...
Expert?
Amateur.
l got a V6 and pepped it up to make it sing. A V6 loves to sing.
You can't sing too loud. The limit's 30 here.
Those signs?
Aren't they for skateboards?
No, for all vehicles.
Maybe...l'm doing 60.
Good car, good driver, no sweat.
l'm less of a danger than that jerk!
Look!
Yeah, l saw...
And speed-traps?
We know where they are. The pigs don't like change.
They always feed at the same trough. There's one just here...
See them?
What a load of jerks!
Photo!
They're just obeying orders.
They signed up! No one made them!
Maybe they were made to. No sane guy would!
Look, l see a lot of them with the computers,
and l had a false image of them.
They're worse than people say?
No, better in fact. Not all cops are morons.
l bet some are drunkards, crooks or idiots.
Sincerely, between you and me,
know anyone in his right mid who'd be a copper?
And cab driver?
What?
Who'd be a cab driver? Those slobs who never want to work.
Who yell if you don't have change or forget the tip.
Always drinking fit to burst a breathalyser.
Always moaning away...
And thick as thieves with the cops.
The king grasses!
lf the guy's married to a janitor, you're home free!
ls your wife a janitor?
That's something!
OK, some drivers are rude but they're not all like that.
So accept it's the same on the force.
They're not all blind drunk, beating up immigrants.
Some just do their job, like you and me.
Maybe...
This isn't my real job.
You drive a cab for fun? So what's your real job?
l'll show you.
Got a bag? l don't feel good.
Don't worry, nothing comes up till we stop!
Shit...
Sorry, that never happened before.
My fares usually get out, go somewhere and then...
l'm really sorry.
l'll tell you something.
lt's not my real job either.
Full name?
Morales, Daniel.
Profession? Speed maniac or just plain maniac?
Put what you like.
How fast were you going?
55 or so...
lt just looked more cause it's a powerful motor.
Hi, Hot Wheels! Hi...
Give me a break, OK?
That taxi just did it again.
120 mph.
He's slowing down.
See...
You weren't doing 55. You were doing 120!
l know...lt was the sun. l couldn't see the speedometer.
l didn't see l was going that fast.
l'd have slowed down otherwise.
55 is too fast, 30 already is the maximum speed.
Cars, skateboards, taxis,
everyone!
Satisfied? You've caught me, done a good job,
Look, l drive to live. Take my licence and l'm dead.
So put me out of my misery right now.
Let me make the most of this.
Usually, l screw up so a lucky break's welcome...
My wrist hurts too much to knock.
Never mind...Knocking, l mean.
That dinner and the program that couldn't wait...
They'll wait till l heal. Unless you want dinner with a scarecrow.
l don't mind.
l mean...You're perfect, Petra. lt doesn't matter.
l mean...
lt does matter. l'm sorry. l'm sorry for you.
For myself too. But l don't mind.
See, it's always like that.
lf only l could catch those damn Germans.
Can you finish me off? lt'll help.
Yeah, l'll have to.
Unless you have an idea?
- l won't do it again. - An idea, l said, not a joke.
l mean a real idea. For the public good.
Cleaning up dog shit?
Something for the public good for me, see?
l mean, it's as if l was the public
and you did something for my good.
ls that clear?
You want dough?
You're so dumb!
Say what you want then. Get to the point once and for all!
What do you want?
Heard of the Mercedes Gang?
The gangs l know are on scooters.
They raid banks. Yesterday was the 7th, my chiefs frantic.
- That's a bummer... - For us, it is.
l'm gonna make you an offer.
You know cars and l need a driver.
That's good enough to hire you as a trainee
and wipe your slate clean.
You want me to be a cop?
Cop or pedestrian, you choose.
Death or shame?
You said it.
OK, these are the seven raids...
l'm more Ferrari than Mercedes.
This the Mercedes Gang, l'll let you know if they change.
Red Mercedes? Jesus!
l know they're red. See if there's anything we missed.
We went over them in detail,
but maybe there's something.
- There sure is. - What?
These guys are Germans.
Brilliant! Germans in a Mercedes! Need a rest after that?
Over-inflated tyres, typically German.
They used 8-inch ones and you can't get those in France.
They'll need to change them soon.
The exhaust's bent here, but not here.
They must have changed it. Only Kruger can do that in Marseilles.
And Kruger...is German.
Good job you don't know Mercedes...
Where to then?
Let's start with Kruger. See how good his memory is.
Waiting for the ''Starsky and Hutch'' theme tune?
l'd take the fairy lights off around here...
What now?
This is how policemen spend 90% of their time.
Surveillance.
Familiarity with the terrain, observation of movement,
analysis...
At closing time, we'll make a call on Kruger.
What time does the garage close?
Never. He has insomnia.
Nothing but meat paste.
Too bad, my mom make ace sandwiches.
The ham and cheese one? Half ltalian, half Danish...
- Perfect! - She made you one?
With the thin slices of cheese and lettuce...
And the baby pickles...
Wild!
lt's mine!
lt's delicious. Congratulations.
- What's going on? - Koreans.
They're ruining the trade. They work around the clock.
He has to sleep. He's human.
Just watch this.
One taxi, one plate, one licence...
And two drivers!
Try to tell one Korean from another.
Unbelievable...
l know a Korean nearby but he's into cooking. Fancy that?
We wait till the garage closes.
We've got time. He has insomnia, he never closes.
How do you know?
The bar owner told me.
Why didn't you say?
l don't think like a cop yet.
That's not the problem. it's just plain common sense!
We're waiting for an insomniac to go to bed!
Does that sound right to you?
lf l drive that Mercedes and know he's insomniac,
You think he'll just turn up with his fancy Mercedes?
Unbelievable!
Drivers spend their free time in garages.
Why here?
To pick up the tyres Kruger ordered for them.
lt's a miracle!
l can't miss out on this.
lf there's trouble, call channel 2 and give them the Mercedes' number.
- What's going on? - After surveillance, action!
- l'll try the Korean trick. - What?
The Korean trick.
What a jerk...
Where do the tyres go?
- What are you doing here? - Me, sleep.
Me, homeless, no house.
My country very cold.
No, please! Not hurt me, l steal nothing!
Me, just sleep!
l'll find you a place to sleep.
And eat too, if you're lucky!
- That hurts! - l'm doing my best, chief.
What's your name again?
Daniel, right...
l'm Emilien.
First names are better.
A bit better.
Now we're so close, we'll say that all this...
the trash cans and so on, never happened.
lf you let go of my hand, can l go home and rest?
l'm not insomniac or Korean.
Sure...
What's going on?
lt's not Sunday, it's Monday!
You can't l held back all night!
While l played dominoes?
Calling sick.
Monday morning disease? My boss will love that.
l'm sure he's never heard of it!
lt can happen to anyone.
You had dinner with your parents,
you overate and threw up all night. How's that?
And a guy who works all week and spends Sundays with his girl...
How's that?
l'm sorry, Lilly.
l had a really shitty day.
lf you have dinner here with me, l'll tell you everything.
Keep it light then.
No problem. A quick dinner and a long night.
We'll save time by having dinner in bed.
Make it good. lt's your last chance.
l'll be ace!
Another day outside the garage?
Surveillance is over. Questioning starts.
Want to see how an interrogation works?
- You're coming anyway! - l can't help!
l'll stay here in case there's trouble again.
l need you to translate for the technical stuff.
Anyway, he won't have time to trick me.
Good morning!
Which one of you is Mr. Kruger?
The name's on the wrapper.
l have a few questions for you...